"A heartbreak isn't always as loud as a bomb exploding. Sometimes, it could be as quiet as a feather falling and the most painful thing is, nobody hears it but you."
This journey is difficult. There are some good days, but a lot of bad days. It's a rare occasion when infertility does not occupy the majority of my thoughts in a given day. It's a lonely journey. Even though, I have a great support system around me, my infertility is difficult for me to discuss. It's hard to talk about, even with people who have experienced it before.
With the holidays coming up, I've noticed that my infertility is impacting me a lot more. It's hard to celebrate holidays because they are just another marker in the journey of infertility. This is the third Christmas that I have wished, hoped and dreamed that I would be pregnant. It's hard to wrap presents when you wish you could be wrapping presents for your own child too. It's hard to sit in the glow of a Christmas tree while watching Christmas movies- absolutely alone.
Maybe someday this heart will heal, but until then I will keep pushing forward in this journey.