Be hopeful for the first group that they make it through their struggles. Be compassionate towards the second even if they aren't showing compassion towards you. And be thankful for the third group. Be thankful for those people that can try to put themselves in your shoes and attempt to understand what you're going through.
Our struggle with infertility has shown me people in each of these groups. I have many friends who have experienced infertility. It breaks my heart if they're still struggling to conceive because I know we're on the same path, wavering between the fine lines of hope and desperation. It breaks my heart if they've conceived, because I know that they have experienced infertility and I know that years of this pain leaves a lasting impression on a person.
The second group is the most difficult. These are the people that know we're struggling with infertility and they don't care. People in this group come in all different forms. Some think that our infertility is our own fault, instead of viewing it as the disease it truly is. Others don't understand why our infertility affects us as much as it does. They can't fathom why this journey could be so heartbreaking.
Then there is the last group of people. Often times they don't even realize that they are in this group, but they want so badly to be there for you that their compassion comes naturally. Luckily, I have a few amazing people who fit into this group. They've never been in my shoes, but they know I'm in pain. They recognize that I'm struggling. They don't need proof of the pain, they just want to know how they can help. They are a select few--the people who show compassion without question.
You are always in my thoughts and in my heart. My journey is certainly jot the same as yours nor as heartbreaking, but I empathize with you.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Melissa! <3 I think of you often because I know your journey is filled with pain <3
DeleteRachele,
ReplyDeleteYou are such a fierce warrior. I'm so terribly sorry for all that you've gone and are going through. I hope you realize you have so many cheerleaders. I hope with so much passion for you and a few others who have endured so much for so long. I know that hope may not offer too much comfort but this is all I can do. You know I'm always here for you whenever you need someone to talk to.
I really resonated with this post. I think in the second group it should also include people who have been there but some how forget so easily. I am fearful of becoming this way and I hope in yoru eyes I haven't. Nothing hurt me more than someone who had been there suddenly forgetting what it was like to go through IF. It just had a whole new level of sting to it.
I care for you deeply and wish you nothing but the best!
Thinking of you!
Amanda,
DeleteThank you so much dear. You have always been so supportive for me and so many others on this journey. I truly appreciate your kindness.
I definitely agree with you that those ones are the hardest. It's hard to know that it's so easy to put all of this behind you when it's been your life for several years. It's even harder to believe that it's easy to forget the comments that used to hurt you so bad and that they easily creep into your own vocabulary. You have never acted anything but supportive. <3