Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Left Behind

It's been awhile.  I have been taking a break.  I have deactivated my facebook and have mostly stayed away from social media in general.  I needed a break.  I needed time to not see pregnancy announcements at every turn.  I needed time to cope with the three year anniversary of trying to conceive. It was hard.  It was emotional.  It was a mess.

It's funny how much relationships change when you are infertile. I have built an amazing support group of friends who are also struggling to conceive.   Some of us have been in touch for 2 years or more.  But something strange happens when you're part of a group of friends who are all trying to conceive.  There are different dynamics to your relationships.  You are all in it for the same end goal of getting pregnant.  And some reach that goal. And some don't.  But what happens when you're one of the people who is left behind in the group of women who haven't conceived?  There becomes a divide. 

Last year, around this same time, I took a break from facebook.  I stayed in contact with many of my infertile friends to offer support and just check in on life overall.  This year has been different.  Many of those women have conceived.  They have had their children or are in the late stages of pregnancy. It's a hard thing to feel like you're being left behind or even forgotten.  You no longer share the bond of the struggle to conceive.  They have moved on to pregnancy concerns or concerns with their child.  Who can blame them though?  They have finally gotten the thing we've all been dreaming of over the last few years.    It's just hard when you have to take a look at the relationship and see that there was only one bond holding you together and while you are still in that place, they are not. You have been left behind.
post signature

2 comments:

  1. I've been thinking about you both and hoping you are okay and wishing there was more I could do other than offer emotional support. Although your situations are the same, they are also very different, so I feel just a touch of what you are feeling and although it saddens me, I can only imagine the magnitude and depth of your sadness. I can only send you hugs xoxoxo

    ReplyDelete
  2. You're never alone darlin! Never ever ever. I'm always a text away and yes while we are pregnant you know that that has never changed my support for you or my well wishes for you and others struggling. I miss you dearly and hope this time away has given you what you needed. Please know that if others are quiet it's because perhaps they thought you just wanted space. So never be afraid to say "hey I need support." I know when I took breaks while I loved the texts for me I liked forgetting about things and not worrying. So I've been trying to give the same respect during your break. Know you are loved beyond measure and missed beyond a doubt! You rock and you know you have a huge ass cheering squad in your comer both of the vocal variety and the silent <3

    LOVE and HUGS!

    ReplyDelete